Are you waiting for the world to go back to normal? Looking at what is happening, we are all going to have to hang in there and do the best we can. The world is constantly changing.
Like the song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” by Taylor Swift.
“Ooh, ooh, ooh,” she sings, “We called it off again last night.” Almost as if she is making a parody of some of the things that have happened in the last year. Just be patient; hold all your tatters around you. Don’t let things get you down. Life is an ever-circling thing; when you hang in there, things come full circle again. Perhaps in a different way, but full circle nonetheless.
“But ooh, ooh, ooh…
This time, I’m telling you, I’m telling you
We are never ever, ever getting back together
We are never ever, ever getting back together.”
(Lyrics by Taylor Swift)
Hear Taylor Swift sing the song on YouTube
The song sounds upbeat even though it is about never reuniting with a loved one. The circumstances are depressing, but somehow, she makes us feel determined to move on, which is a good thing. In the video, friends dance around and have a good time.
We wondered if we could get together with friends again like we used to before the pandemic. Go to a party? Go camping with friends? Or had the world changed so much that looking at things like this makes us gasp? Movies that show people getting together looked somehow odd.
Is it all bad? No, we have learned a great deal during this past couple of years. Going forward is actually determined more by how resilient and adaptable we are becoming.
Finding ways to cope is all on Us.
Your experiences through this time also depend on your stage of life. No matter how the media or higher-ups have put it, there has been no way to cope other than through your own devices and help from family and friends. Many have weathered it well. We all feel for those we know who have not. For some, the challenge is mostly financial; for others, it has been and still is emotionally daunting.
We have all waited and thought that this would be over by spring 2021 at the latest… But there are not many signs it will be, and some even say, “Not until 2022… or 2023” Even if all circumstances change and we are free to do all the things we used to enjoy, it may not happen. We ask ourselves, “Are we in a sort of permanent dark winter?” Are we like those fleas that want to jump out of the bottle, keep hitting the closed lid, and then give up?
So What Do We Do Now?
Whatever twists and turns your life and circumstances have brought up until now, things are in your hands to determine how you will cope and survive long term. No, I’m not unsympathetic; I’m telling myself to toughen up here too.
Waiting is no longer an option. It is like a phrase in a book I read years ago, “We should not grow soft.”
This does not mean you are going to act out, turn your world upside down, become totally resistant, or give up… It means we all have choices within ourselves to cope and move forward in peace and prayer regardless of what others say and do.
Lessons From Flight School
One of the most important life lessons I learned was in flight school. Flying is life and death; for example, when you are up in the air, gravity will take over if you don’t keep the plane flying. You must make a split-second decision if you meet with a sudden, unexpected occurrence, such as a bird flying into your windshield or another plane appearing on a collision course. Your training must kick in automatically to figure out some maneuver to save yourself and your passengers.
If you are “the pilot in command,” you can listen to your co-pilot for advice, but it is your sole responsibility if the plane crashes.
This is where we all are right now. Whatever has happened, it is up to us to plot a new course. We cannot afford to zone out. We must train our internal coping mechanisms to kick in fast. As okay as something might sound in the short term, we are never ever, no, never giving up!
On that note, I seem to like analogies that belong to flying. I’ll paraphrase a story I heard about one country’s airlines a while back. Somehow, it had the worst history of downed flights on record. What do you think caused it?
No, not the airplane’s flightworthiness, not the pilots’ experience, not the crew’s professionalism… It was, now hear this… the culture of the country. Its culture of speech, hierarchy, and societal norms. In North America, we have generally been brought up to challenge authoritarianism. We even challenge our parents, much to their chagrin at times. We favor an attitude of listening, learning, questioning, and valuing each individual’s perspective.
Thank goodness for this culture of questioning and being able to speak freely.
If a bird hits the windshield when you are in flight, without thinking, you might take evasive maneuvers. However, in a split-second survey, your co-pilot lets you know that that evasive maneuver will suddenly fly you into a mountaintop. You listen, take the advice, and act differently. Or if the co-pilot says, “Careful, you may kill another bird…” As the pilot in command, you must weigh your passengers’ safety over the bird.
So, getting back to the culture of the country whose planes were involved in the most accidents, its culture of speech, hierarchy, and societal norms had trained people since childhood not to challenge higher-ups’ authority. When confronted with a disastrous situation, believe it or not, the immediate crew was afraid to speak up to a superior. And often, too late, a situation reaches the point of no return. Fortunately, new training involving challenges to authority for flight crews took place after being found out.
Questioning is important. None of us know everything. I remember serving on a board of directors for a charity. When I was new, it was hard to speak about an issue. A mentor advised that even if I was not aware of the right solution, “There is nothing wrong with asking a question.” it is how we learn.
The Future is about Developing Resiliency, Adaptability, and Individual Freedoms in the Pursuit of Happiness.
It is about the Golden Rule, Faith, Family, and Common Sense. It is about returning to our solid roots while learning and making new maneuvers that create the best outcomes for where we are now.
Whatever stage of life you are in, you have had to develop different methods to cope despite a period pf upheaval.
- If you are school-age and everything was canceled except for Zoom, you tried your best and added extra learning capabilities.
- Just past school age and looking for your first real job.
- Ready to settle down with your life partner, but that is on hold.
- A parent who is responsible for children, and possibly even sandwiched between caring for children and aging parents, has a tough job.
- A senior, alone or with your significant other. You find ways to interact with others, like on Facebook, Zoom, or the telephone.
There are new ideas and answers. We can find them.
The most at-risk generation is the youngest of the children. They may have been safely cared for by their families, but what long-term unintended consequences will they have? Those of us who remember how things used to be will have to help, mentor, and be the memory banks for a generation.
I recently found out from a friend that a company was losing its particular set of “how-to” memory. They had had a succession of retirees leaving the firm. Some things were not in the manuals. Some solutions and “the-way-things-were-done” was knowledge learned from work experience. All at once, when things seemed to go wrong for no reason, they realized the problems and had to backtrack.
Everyone has had to cope differently than before. If you have been working in an essential service, given certain restrictions, you have had more freedom to go about your daily work routine. Business, almost as usual. For others, it has meant working from home, managing children and the house, and changing lifestyles between work. Many at-home workers now have no set hours and still must talk/text with their boss at midnight. Somehow, you have to draw the line on this!
You were out of work if your work was not essential or something you could do at home. Perhaps also out of money, living off savings, or moving back in with family.
The daughter of a friend who just graduated from college cannot find work in her chosen field due to the shutdowns. It is not fair!
Seniors have been hard hit. Nothing prepared them for not being able to visit their children and grandchildren. Or, in some cases, being locked in a small room in a care facility. Or worse…
So what can we do now, you ask?
Find out what is going on. Look at things based on what has happened before in history. Are there old solutions that will work now, or do we need entirely new ones?
Be Courageous!
Go online for news or find eye-witness accounts. Listen to different points of view. Come to your own conclusions. Look at the actions people take, not just their words. Is what someone says a match with what they do? Or is it all for their benefit?
If you need work, learn something new. Think about hiring yourself. Join forces with others to achieve a worthwhile purpose. Find a need and fill it. Care about others. Hang in there… Help someone else hang in there…
The old world is gone. We are stronger now. We are not getting soft. We are thinking for ourselves. And just like our ancestors’ difficulties, we are finding new solutions. We are free.
So take that. You Changed the World! You…
“I’m really gonna miss you picking fights
Taylor Swift
And me falling for it, screaming that…”
We can be strong now in this new land. Just watch us still be whole, succeed, and be free!
