When we are young, we don’t realize that people in their later years, even after eighty, can feel just as romantic as we were in our twenties. Views about seniors are sometimes artificially imposed by our societal culture. Mistakenly, we can sometimes turn ourselves off, thinking we can’t express our intimate feelings. There is no need for that!
Follow this recipe for happiness.
- Remember the little kindnesses that you can do for each other.
- Spend time together.
- Give each other at least six big hugs a day.
- Kiss each other morning, noon, and night, no matter what.
- If you are walking or sitting together, hold hands.
- Speak kindly to each other.
- If you have an argument, apologize quickly —be the first one to say, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.
- Forgive the little things that really don’t matter in the long run!
Encourage Intimacy
Although intimacy usually includes physicality, sometimes it is more about a loving embrace, being caressed and stroked by your loved one. The brain is the sexiest part of our bodies. Imagination helps eroticize our minds. There is something to be said about the intimacy of maturity. Feeling close, talking about things you both enjoy, and being loved means more than it used to.
Did you know that being intimate with your partner can actually be good for you? Some studies say you sleep better, have a better immune system, and even have better brain function longer.
Sometimes, couples who have been together for a long time forget to change their habitual intimate moments. As we change our diet or exercise plans, we should think of other ways to do things that make us happier or healthier. Seniors expect to have the same drive as they did in their twenties. But couples later in life, from the fifties and even into the eighties, say, “We talk more, we plan special times, and focus more and more on the romance of being together.”
Absence can make the heart grow fonder.
One woman reports that when she went to a church retreat for a week, she and her husband texted and Facetimed each other several times a day, at first, to share what they were both doing. Having always “been in love,” she said, “We started sweet-talking each other like we did in the early days of our marriage. It was a revelation. We also started doing this at home, and it became a prelude to being happier and experiencing more intimacy.”
Practice the art of sweet talk.
Better communication results in more intimacy and overcoming anxieties. Remember that you may feel self-conscious about your body, but so is your partner. It is ok. Our bodies may change, but our love for each other does not have to.
It is important to set the stage for intimacy. Turn on your favorite music, start dancing, and start talking about fun times. Plan a trip, even if it is just to your local hotel. Get a massage, swim in the pool, plan to get dressed up, and go to the theatre or a movie, followed by a candlelit dinner for two. Enjoy each other’s company. Fantasizing and planning ahead can mean the difference in more intimate encounters.
Going for a walk and holding hands can be an intimate experience. It does not always have to involve just getting into bed together. Most often, what becomes a reluctance to get close is really only psychological impediments, like feeling that your body is not beautiful anymore.
Agree not to disagree and argue about others.
We all have relationships with others that are sometimes wonderful and sometimes annoying. Ultimately, everyone has their own life to live and manage. It is okay to be helpful and give advice here and there, but don’t expect others to live their lives as you do, or you would want them to. Let others be themselves. Try to love unconditionally as much as possible. If something is too bad, do what you can, and then all you can do is pray they find their own way to happiness.
Get dressed up!
Go shopping together for some new clothes that will make you feel young again. Buy your guy a silk shirt.
Get dressed up, do your fingernails bright red, wear some glitzy shoes, wrap yourself in a long sparkly dress, and then see how great you feel.
Spending time with each other in simple ways is calming and satisfying. Sitting in the garden or on your balcony, having coffee and talking by the fireplace, or going out to your local café can be time well spent.
Live your life with patience, grace, forgiveness, and, most of all, the Golden Rule.
Life is long,
@astoriatrina on X
Life is short,
Life can be a forever song.
Or a series of mosquito bites
That prick and annoy
Almost like flashes of electronic lights.
Intermittently, we can begin,
Again, to see something otherworldly, new.
Like a happening in
A loved one’s touch
Upon your hand
Holding you firmly with love and such.
